Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Breath of fresh air

About a week ago I went to visit with a professor at a community college.  I set up the meeting by literally going to their website and scrolling through to find bio profs and just randomly emailing them.  This woman replied right away and said she would love to chat.  So I set up a meeting.

I have to say this was one of the best things I've done in awhile!  This prof got her PhD at Hopkins, had done some teaching while there, she relocated with her husband and applied for a job at the community college to have something to pay the bills while she looked for a job.  She said at some point she realized she didn't need to keep looking for something she loved, that she was already DOING something she loved.  Wow-awesome.  I hope that happens to me!!!

But what was so refreshing was just talking with her about what her job is like.  She says she teaches people who are at all levels-some of her students can barely read, others are high achievers looking to go to a 4 year university but are just saving money, others are returning students looking to change careers, going to school while working a full-time job and raising kids.  She was so excited and so motivated to help all these people reach whatever their goal was.  It was just so refreshing to talk with a professor who loved teaching, who loved the challenge of teaching.  There was no ego, no worry about grant money or when to publish the next paper.  All she had to do was teach and plan her lessons.  Of course, I make that sound like 'all she had to do' is no big deal. I don't mean to diminish the difficulty of teaching AT ALL.  I realize it's very challenging, perhaps even more so in an environment with such a diverse student population.  But this challenge sounds so much more appealing to me than the environment I had just come from: a start up lab with a PI trying to get tenure and be a 'high profile' professor.  Someone who isn't at a university because she wanted to teach but to just further her own career and gain prestige.

All this being said, money in my state for higher ed is in the toilet.  That is pretty much true across the board.  The community college I visited doesn't even have money to run summer school this year at all.  So...this sounds great, but there are little to no job openings.  But I will keep my name out there, keep talking to the chairs to see if I can sneak in there somewhere and maybe try out teaching for awhile.  Of course, I'm still looking at writing and editing opportunities, but I don't have to pick just one thing, do I?  I'm starting to get excited about trying something new!  Now I just hope I'll be able to find a job!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Does your career define you?

It's been a few days since I last wrote.  Part of that is because I've been busy (well, relatively busy), and part of that is because I haven't thought of anything interesting to say.  But that in and of itself got me thinking: Now that I don't have a job, have I become a less interesting person?

Obviously, my gut reaction is to say 'of course not, that's ridiculous'.  But, is it?

The past couple of weeks, since I've been sans employment, I've done a lot of cleaning, been to the gym often, read a lot, watched some tv, done my volunteering job, and worked on networking and chatting with people about careers.  But other than that, my current situation sort of prevents me from doing too much more.  I'm leaving on Saturday to go to the opposite side of the country with hubby while he does some training.  I will be spending 6-8 weeks in a beach house in a remote, small town.  Which *sounds* great, but I may go all Jack Nicholson in The Shining by the end of it.  Thank god our rental has wifi.  After that, we return for a couple of weeks only to take off again for Europe for a belated honeymoon.  That's a very exciting couple of months, something new and different that I should be excited about.  AND I don't have to work!  So why am I so blase about it?

I think it's because, whether or not it's true, part of me feels like not having a job makes me somehow less of a person.  For as long as I can remember, I've been working toward some sort of goal.  Whether it was getting into college or grad school or graduating or publishing, there was always a job and always a set of goals.  And I'm seeing now that the job and those goals were very much how I identified myself to the outside world.  When you meet a new person, one of the first questions is 'what do you do?'  Now I don't have a good answer for that question.  Well, at least I think it's not a very good answer.  But why is it that I can't be ok with just being me, figuring things out and moving on?  Or perhaps this is the transition that people go through while seeking employment after being gainfully employed (or studying) their entire life.

So does not having a job make me less interesting?  No (maybe if I say enough times I'll believe it).  But deep down, somewhere in the recesses of my subconscious, I think not having a clear career path makes me feel like I have less worth than I did before.  I feel like my opinions don't matter as much, like I'm not a functioning member of society.  And maybe that's why I feel like I'm less interesting.  Who wants to listen to the opinions of a 'housewife'?  But as soon as I walk down that road I think 'shame on me' because I know people who choose to stay at home to take care of things (most of the time that means children), and I don't think any less of them for it.  So why do I think people will think less of me for taking a break to figure things out?

Anyone have any insight?  Or experience with this themselves?  It seems like such a silly thing and I feel like a spoiled brat complaining about time off and trips to new and different places.  I'm trying to come to terms with it all so I CAN enjoy myself and figure things out and maybe learn a thing or two about myself or the world along the way.  So any advice is appreciated...or you can tell me that I am in fact being a spoiled brat and to shut up about it now....